When PSOQuest closed there never was a page written. It was all quite sudden and it seems that it was lost in the annals of time.
It is something that has irritated me for some time now and I promised I would do something to rectify this situation. However, after writing a short piece near the time of closure, I left it and always found something else to do rather than finish.
Recently the urge had become overwhelming to finish. I am not sure as to what it was that sparked me but after stumbling across what I had written, I strived to finish. Even if this meant it was only a nonsensical or crazy piece about a man that lived during 80s in the big, bad city (that last part may only be relevant to CypherGreen). I would get this done and posted up.
So many months after the point in time, it comes to pass that I have finally finished what I started.
I'm not going to go into intricate detail on how we started and everything else about what Quest was. I'm sure most people know and if not I don't think it really matters. You could point to things like the influence of the place, with so many taking so many ideas we implemented and using them for their own sites (sometimes with and more often than not without permission, you naughty people).
What I think is important though, is that through the site, we all made a great number of friends and had an amazing and fun time over the course. Some of the people I knew have moved on, yet others remain.
I feel that we all travel along a path in life, at times our paths will cross with others and we walk side-by-side sharing our experiences. At other times our paths branch and we must part company. Throughout all this (and I am sure you've heard me mention the following ideals a few times back when Quest was still running) we should all endeavour to abide by chilvarous codes of conduct such as honour, respect, gallantry, nobility and honesty. They sound very cliched, like a bunch of old romantic ideals yet they are all ideals which are difficult to stick to, especially in an age where no values really seem to be held onto.
When we have a friendship with someone these ideals are easy enough to abide by and giving and taking are easy to do. Sometimes though you get rare occasions where what seems a good relationship can actually be based on insecurities and fallacies. Allow me to elaborate a bit. Friendships should be open, based on honesty and trust. True friends will never be afraid to speak their mind nor will they be afraid to confront one another, as everything will be worked out to preserve relations. Silence and holding grudges is never the route to take, that is the path of cowards and schemers.
This would be my main regret for the site as a whole. Throughout the time of Quest but especially towards the end, you would get some whom decided to take another path. This in itself is nothing bad, as you often find paths will cross again sometime later on and you continue sharing. This would be the way to part according to the ideals I listed above.
The problem and my point of regret is that some decided to abandon the ideals and show their true face, that of insecurity and fallacy. In parting they threw as many obstacles as they could in the hope of tripping me, making me lose my way. This left a sour taste in my mouth and no doubt this was a bad experience but it did open my eyes. What it made me see was more than I could ever have hoped. The friends whom I could have lost (my true friends), they slowed down and helped me to break through the obstacles. Not only cementing the bonds of friendship but strengthening them.
In life, true friendship is something precious and it is an absolute joy when, each day, you know that you have it. So even if I am sad that the site no longer exists and no longer offers me this opportunity, I am thankful that I got and took a chance to do so.
So now that I've had my philosophical ramble I'll make a few statements about the site.
The site was closed due to us taking too many resources. We had a few options open to us, one being to upgrade to another host, which could offer us more. However, at the time, a few things were decided which lead to us decide to close.
Firstly, this would happen time and time again. In the past we had moved to a number of hosts each one bigger than the last. The difference now was whereas in the past it was the forum alone that was causing us problems, we were now experiencing more demand with the website as well. To put it simply, we became too popular for our own good, in terms of both the website and the forum.
Secondly, we were in a position that were we to go out, it would be at the top. There were a few additions which we were planning/had made but never got to implement fully. A few Cmode maps, a few quests and the Card Database (this last one was galling after seeing how much time and effort went into it by Feugan and how great it was to use). We always aimed to be as accurate as possible and offer things to everyone which was logically laid out and we were one of the best when it came to that.
Thirdly, I think there was some apathy when it came to running the site, this was down to a number of factors. Whilst I mentioned we were at the top of our game as a second point, a lot of us felt more distanced from the site (more so the forums) than we had once been. The whole site was created on the base of a community, many of which had moved on possibly leaving us that feeling of nostalgia but ultimately, it was not anything like it once was nor anything like we wanted it to be. I think this may be a common feeling with people who have created a site only to see it grow so large. It gets to a point where the popularity of the site takes over and it carves it's own existence, leaving long time members detatched and cold.
This was not helped by some unsavoury business that caused people to feel disenchanted of it all. When you try so hard to provide for people, to the extent that you put yourself out and then get caught up in guilt trips and abuse, it does make you question whether it is all worthwhile.
I may as well say my piece on this as well as it always was something that saddened me. I was lucky enough not to be on the receiving end as much as some others did. In particular, I felt that Feugan and Alphatwin were the two who got the most out of everyone. It seems even though they put so much time and effort to get the site started and off the ground, they were held in contempt, something which never happened near the beginning but became increasingly frequent towards the end. It was quite low the extent and the manner in which people did this and I must say I despised it especially due to the work they put in. I suppose some believe their own hype and that's when delusions of grandeur kick in, so that even the smallest of things can be blown out of proportion and nasty things said.
A final word now and I would like to say thank you to everyone who supported us throughout. Especially those that harboured the good intention and attitude that we wanted to permeate. The thanks also includes all the people who tried to break the spirit of the forum as I suppose in the end, it strengthened our resolve. It was a fun few years, something very unique, something that will remain everlasting. My initial aim when writing this whole thing was a brief thank you but I felt it only fair that I addressed everything good, bad and ugly, as it seems nothing is ever without controversy, this page should echo that.
Thank you one and all for making my time on Quest memorable and enjoyable. Thank you for the support and insanity. Thank you.
~ Nataku
03/04/2005
PSOQuest tribute //
